Mami Drama

So I got to live out a fantasy a week ago, and my gratitude to my mother, sister, and various friends-and-relations knows no bounds. (An aside, thank-you notes are in the offing from both Shay and me.)

I wanted to throw a graduation party like those I remember. You know, family, friends, punch and mints and finger sandwiches. Boring as hell if you’re a kid, I suppose, and next time I will probably ask for input. But this time I got to use my china and my punchbowl, and I made delicious punch and disgusting mints and my mommy made sandwiches and I had a ball!

We were blessed to have half my folks and my sister & brother-in-law, Papa & 2 of his sisters and their hubbys, and many friends. We missed the people who couldn’t be here, but I think we had a good time, anyway. I think there was a total of around 40 people. Not a lot of leftovers, not very much mess, not very much stress. It was awesome!  My mom & sister kept control of the chaos, as usual, and made it so much easier on me.

It was a fantasy because I’m not very good at entertaining. I am all about ideas and making stuff look pretty, but I suck at execution. & I REALLY suck at mingling. I have the attention span of a gnat. I wanted to relive my childhood, and for a few hours, I really did. I felt what it might have been like if I’d not left the Midwest, and for me that meant everything. My homesickness comes in waves of nostalgia and I am finally figuring out ways of staving off the worst of it by bringing elements into my life that remind me of the best of it.

Thank god for my mother. I appreciate my sister and our friends, but my mom understood what I wanted even if she doesn’t get why I needed it. I had sweet-tart punch and sour cream mints and ham salad & egg salad sandwiches and bars and salads and pretty things on my table. I had a punch bowl and a coffee urn filled and hostess plates & cups and pink china. I had people sitting in my living room and eating and playing outside, all to celebrate my oldest baby graduating. It was one of the coolest days I’ve had in a long time. Cuz, you know, it’s all about me:)

I haz one:) On the 21st of May, 2009, I became the not-old-enough parent of a high school graduate. Ok, I am technically old enough, but since I feel like I age at a rate slower than most around me, my oldest kid should be around 13.

But she’s not. She’s a fresh adult with goals and aspirations and, as of ten days ago, a golden ticket to Grown-Up Land. She doesn’t agree, of course…she says that while she’s an adult, she refuses to be a grown-up. Like that’s a dirty word. Ahh, I remember those days LOL.

Come September, (actually late August but I like September better) Shay will join the ranks of collegians  at the University of Alaska-Fairbanks, provided we are able to jump through the remaining hoops for financial aid. She will be several thousand miles away in a fairly remote area we have only dreamt about, probably alone and having the time of her young life.

She wants to study animal behaviour. Sometimes she wants to teach, or be in theater, or do art. She is better equipped for some of these than others, but from experience I know that what she finds out about herself in the coming years will determine her path irrespective of what she’s come across so far. I know that whatever she decides she will not easily lose her spontinaity and effervescence.  And what she finds, she will love.

She is much like her father, I am realizing.  She charms with her smiles as she heads off to play, and I am hoping this means she also has his ability to roll with the punches and his aptitude for excelling at the next thing once boredom hits. Because she has such varied interests she won’t long be satisfied with one carreer. I know she will be a force for good let loose on the world. Positive change, people.

For clarification, I’ve been writing the kids’ names as their first letter to protect privacy. I will no longer be doing that, as it confuses my family (and me!) so they’re just gonna have to deal with their names being in the ether. Es becomes Shay, Kay-Kara, Jay-Jake, & Emmy-Molly. Thank you and good-night.

I have some questions for Governor Palin. Like, how would she feel if she had been required by law to abort her other-abled child? Isn’t she glad she has the freedom to chose her own family dynamics and family size, with no interference from the State? Yeah, I know. Provacative. But I have serious issues with the government or anyone in power telling ME what I can do with my own body. Bet she does too. Just a thought.

Also, while it may be grand to have a woman in the White House,  I’m thinking any random woman won’t cut it. Just because she’s a chick doesn’t mean she’s qualified to lead the nation, fercrissake. She was the mayor of a city smaller than my rural community, before she became governor a scant 2 years ago. Of a state that’s oftimes reffered to as “the Last Frontier.” Not so much a state often involved in foriegn affairs. Not so much a state involved in domestic affairs, for that matter.

Oh, other than the off-shore drilling business, that is. Apparently, she’s all for that. And for drilling in the Alaskan Wilderness. Goody, more of the same old, rape the Earth mentality that has worked so well for us in the past. Rather than take the long veiw of what is best for our country, our planet and our children, she is showing an amazing lack of foresight common to many politicians which includes the philosophy of ” we need it now, screw the future.” Thanks, Governor.

Honestly, I’m not terribly concerned that this will be a blow to my candidate of choice the way some people apparently hope. Not sure even the wavering middle (you know, the ones who can’t make up their damn minds based on FACTS) is willing to put somebody this inexperienced and troubling in office with a guy who’s older than several layers of dirt. But you never know. They elected the current guy at least once. Wizards First Rule, people.

Anyway, this was fun. Look forward to having more to say on the subject.

I am very proud of myself. Those of you who know me (ok, everyone who reads this) know that I have, umm, issues with authority and customer service people. I am incredibly insecure on the phone, and not because I’m deef…because I am inarticulate. My throat gets a strangle lock on it and I cannot clarify what I need. This mostly happens when I am upset but not really angry. (Angry is a whole ‘nother ballgame.) If I have a problem with a company, it is difficult for me to get to a positive resolution.

Well, I did it! Today I finally dealt with an issue in a calm (okay, slightly irritated) manner. A few months ago a representative from my phone company called to try & talk me into a new service. Basically it was the same service I already had with a few upgrades for a far lower monthly rate. I clarified 3 times with him that it was the same service for a lower monthly charge with no hidden extras, & the only caveat was a two-year commitment on my part. Part of me was thinking, “I’m asking for guarantees from a telemarketer, what do I really expect?” and I decided that they would probably charge a change fee, which I could live with, considering I’d be saving around $40-$80 a month all told.

Yeah, that’s so not what happened. I waited 2 months just verify the consistency of my new bill, and sure enough, I was being charged $10-$30 MORE a month than previously. I finally called them today and got some song-and-dance about what my rate package was and what my service charges were and how I had evidently misunderstood what I was told and that I was basically a slacker for having waited 2 months before I called.

I told the gal that that’s not what I had been promised, and that I had clarified my understanding of the new charges THREE times and had been assured that, yes, my rate was now significantly lower and that that was my full monthly charge. She continued to basically call me an idiot in very polite terms. Then I pulled out my aces. The first was that I REFUSE to pay the rate they were now charging me & that I would cancel my service before I allowed that to happen. The big gun, tho, was that I had a flyer sitting in front of me that had the rate-for-service I’d ordered, & yes, the price was exactly what I’d been quoted.

She put me on hold (at this point I’d been on the phone for TWENTY-SEVEN flipping minutes)  and when she came back, basically told me the original agent had “mistyped” and I was getting the new rate, after all. I verified the price-for service, then asked if it was retro-active. She said she was taking care of that as we spoke. I thanked her profusely, because her job sucks, and told her I would pay my bill online after everything was updated.

‘Cuz I’ll be damned if I’ll take her word for it:) But bottom line, I have both a local number and a number to use for long-distance, and I am (supposedly) paying a far, far lower rate than ever before. & I did it all by myself! YAY for me!!

So evidently I can count, and I keep better track of my LMP than I thought. Because I have a 16wk1d old fetus named Pete living in my belly:) I don’t know if it’s a girl Pete or a boy Pete, but it’s there. I saw it. I will call it her. My husband calls it him. We’ll see.

So right there on the screen, in all her wiggly glory, was this little alien baby who was the exact gestational age she was supposed to be.  Sucking her thumb and moving like a goldfish, she was exactly as she was supposed to be right now. I feel better. Like you wouldn’t believe.

I have to pick up kids. May update after a bit if I feel like it:)

 With props and credit to lordmookie.livejournal I reprint the following:

10 Best reasons Gay Marriage is wrong:

1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Re-post this if you believe love makes a marriage.

Yesterday was a baddish day. Kay’s video production hit technical snags and the sound was distorted. It was windy. Mommy was cranky, and yelled a lot. Daddy planned to go to Phx to pick up quads this morning & wouldn’t return until after the promotion ceremony. It was just crappy.

Today bloomed in ways we couldn’t have imagined. We were able to get the running around done that was needed. El, Ollie, & Jay got to the auditorium at the same time we did, foregoing our need to find each other inside. While waiting for the promo to start, I was looking for Es & her lovely guy (who both skipped school to attend) and I saw my gorgeous husband. He’d made it back with time to spare. Right after he joined us, my friend Dee gave me a huge hug. It was AWESOME! I don’t see her enough.

Our gorgeous daughter, channeling “Lucy”, was promoted to high school, and was cheered accordingly. She looked so beautiful. We all split up, with Jay going to the high school with Sissy & Slink, & Kay, Emmy, & I went to lunch. It was delish, & the weather was perfect for May…raining like the tropics. We giggled & got coffee, & then the most astounding thing happened…it started to SNOW. The end of MAY in the desert southwest, & it has been snowing for at least 3 hours now. And oh, yes, it’s sticking.

So ok, maybe I’ll stay. I can guarantee it doesn’t snow a week before June in Missouri…I think I’ve only seen it snow once in Minnesota this late! And anyone who knows me knows I’ll take snow over sunshine ANY day. This is CRAZY! I am so loving this.

Of course, the flip side is it’s graduation night, so I am a little worried about my kids being out on the roads with all the amateurs and relatives in town for the event & long weekend. But I refuse to be pessimistic about anything, because it’s freaking snowing in late May!

I know I have no heat, that my horse is cold, that there’s drywall in a pile outside my basement, that we have no gutters and a water issue, that my plants will probably die. But omg, I don’t think there’s much that makes me happier than cumulative snow, & we’re getting it in MAY. Yay for me!

UPDATE: Everyone is home safe and sound, including Dyl, Fran, and Big Stef:) Stopped snowing, but wet wet night…& there’s still snow on the ground! Garage sale in the morning…will let you know if I find treasures.

Daddy took the kids to Papa’s over the weekend. They went to the zoo, where Jay had a terrific time squirting unsuspecting passers-by with water from a water sculpture. Emmy chased birds, gently…”I just wanted to be their friend!” She’s a friend to everything. Yesterday she was fascinated by a stick bug on our wall, touching it with a finger lighter than air.

They then went to an amusement facility Sunday afternoon. As Em was riding a flying spinning thing, the little girl behind her kept calling “Hola” to her mom. Her Spanish-speaking mom would answer her back. So Emmy starts yelling, “Hola” every time she comes around. The mom turned to Daddy and asked, “Dora?” Daddy replied, “Un pequito espanol.” The mom nodded knowingly. “Dora.” LOL

Yesterday was the swimming pool/park field trip for the boy. I met up with them about an hour before they left the park. Jay said, “Hi, Mom. Oh, Mom, this is Brooke. We’re…(just a second)” whisper, whisper to random girl. She shakes her head decisively. He said, loudly, “What! My sister does it!”He comes back and whispered, “I think we’re dating!” I said, “Your sister is seventeen. She can. You can’t.” I about died laughing trying to hold it in ’til he couldn’t see me:)

Today is Kay’s awards ceremony. After, she gets to introduce the end-of-the-year video she and one other girl have been working on all year. Fifteen minutes of 30-second clips of music and still photos. She’s worked so hard and has learned so much. I can’t wait to see it. Her promotion to high school is tomorrow. My baby will be a “fresh-more,” as her sister says. Too cool & too many upper-classmen friends to be a freshman:)

Es has finals all the way through the end of school tomorrow. I will have to try to get her out of Chem if she wants to come to the promotion ceremony. She is struggling with grades, so we had a good chat yesterday. I told her she’s at the point now where she needs to narrow her focus and concentrate on those things which will get her to her next step, whatever that is. I’m so proud of her, and I understand where she is in her head, so whatever she decides we’ll support her. She’s one day away from a senior, and contrary to where I thought I’d be, I am actually thrilled she is almost an adult. I’ve been waiting almost her whole life to have her as my friend. This is way more fun than I’d anticipated!

Jay’s room is still not finished, nor is Em’s anywhere near, and my frustration was building until I thought I might actually do someone harm. So, true to character, as I was cleaning the piano room Monday I decided to paint it. If I can’t control the pace of the downstairs, at least I can make a baby-step forward upstairs. Lemon yellow and white. Slowly but surely, the nasty-ass beigy-cream the entire house interior was once painted is going bye-bye. I love cream. I HATE beige.

‘Tis windy again today, which is annoying even tho I know it keeps the temp down. We’re headed for a bitch of a fire season, but the nights are cool and the days aren’t unbearable, and I do love it here. I miss home and long for mountain peaks, but am doing my best to make this place as much mine as I can. I have hopes, which is better than not, I suppose:)

At any rate, that’s all.

I was driving Jay to school yesterday, and we went to McD’s for breakfast. On the way, we passed a kitty by the side of the road. A beautiful orange tabby with a sweet face, lying quite dead. My heart dropped. Baby. I didn’t say anything to Junior, and I tried to be optimistic, but in my heart I knew. I got home and sure enough, Baby was missing. My heart was broken. G came out and asked what was new and happening, and I just broke down. He hugged me, and was very sad also. Baby was the one cat I’d allowed myself to get close to, and G was the same. He was so sweet and loving. He would come up to anyone outside and crawl into whatever lap was available. He let Em carry him around by the head. He would sleep in a ball next to Feral Kitty, his daughter. He was the best cat.

I told the girls, and asked they not say anything to Jay or Em, as I wasn’t sure how they’d react and I wasn’t up for it. I told El, and we both cried again a little. She knew how I felt, and it was good to cry, but I think I’m getting used to losing pets up here.

Or maybe not. Because around 5 yesterday afternoon, Es said “mom” sharply, and I looked up to see her holding my cat in her arms. “He just came in,” she said. She looked a little stunned, and as she laid him in my arms I lost it. I just sat there and sobbed, holding the big furball for about 5 minutes. I finally told Em to go tell El that Baby was back (”mommy’s crying because she’s happy,” daddy says).

El came up and said, “Em came down and told me that Baby went on vacation and is home now and mommy’s CRYING!” LOL!